


Concentrate

by skitterdwell



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:16:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skitterdwell/pseuds/skitterdwell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A description of Malachite, her relationship with Jasper and Lapis, and how she copes with being herself. More Jasper-sympathetic.</p>
<p>Warning for descriptions of self harm. Compliant with known Malachite canon as of "Chille Tid."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Concentrate

When Malachite closed her eyes and concentrated very hard, she could feel the ocean moving around her. Could feel the pushing and the pulling, the way the moon kneaded the sea into motion. 

When Malachite closed her eyes and concentrated very hard, she could feel them, see them, in the spaces between her gems.

Lazuli, her skirts always flowing with the water, her chin flung upwards. Her nose wrinkled with concentration. Lazuli, with tendrils and chains where her hands should be. 

And Jasper, her hair bunched up in a watery fist and pinned to a watery wall. Jasper, tethered down, bricked in, her spirit chilled and dulled. 

When Malachite closed her eyes and concentrated very hard, sometimes she screamed into the heavy darkness. Other times she panted, both sets of her shoulders heaving up and down as she struggled for something more essential than breath. Other times she found herself writhing, all six of her arms tearing at her hair or green markings, the Lazuli in her striving to strip away all manifestations of Jasper. 

When Malachite closed her eyes and concentrated very hard, sometimes she tried to unfuse. She sought Lazuli’s tendrils and tried to sever them when Lazuli’s focus wavered (when the moon was dark or her thoughts wandered to Steven). Jasper didn’t even try to help – the act of letting go was her gift to Malachite, time after time after time.

Time after time after time, Lazuli lunged forward to bridge the gap, to wrap them into Malachite again. Whispered, using a mouth that was only somewhat hers, “We do it for him.”

And when Malachite leaves her eyes open, and feels her mind wander, Malachite lets herself go slack and fall to the ocean floor. Malachite’s eyes stare whichever way her head lolls, and she waits until she can bear to concentrate again.

**Author's Note:**

> Somebody on tumblr once described Malachite as the embodiment of manic depression, as well as abusive relationships. Another human on tumblr made a comment about how Lapis was not only holding Jasper prisoner, but also Malachite. This fic results.
> 
> While I skewed Malachite's sympathies to lie with Jasper, she may also hate her. But I think that you can get very tired from hating and fighting. What do you think?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
